Have you ever been told that the ONLY way to stop using Alcohol and/or Drugs is by going to a 12-step program/meeting? Me too!
I was 17 when I went to my first meeting. In 1980, going to AA meetings was all there was. It was awkward, embarrassing and I felt out-of-place particularly because I was smoking marijuana and I had to say I was an Alcoholic (even though I wasn’t) in order to stay.
I picked up my first (many more to follow) “white chip”. There was a sort of fellowship and most of the people were kind and had a desire to help. I just couldn’t accept the disease concept. I wasn’t free from drug abuse, I was tied to a disease and going to meetings for the rest of my life. Yet with no other options, I worked the steps with sponsors, continued with the meetings and was still unhappy. This became a revolving door for me.
There were countless (over 15) “12 Step” in-patient and out-patient programs I went through. Not to mention the Half-way houses I was “strongly-suggested”. (By the way, have you noticed that half way houses are NEVER located in decent areas? Usually they are found in the lower-income, drug-infested areas. But that is the subject for another blog…)
Needless to say, I did not do well. I WANTED to stop using drugs. I felt hopeless. I was disgusted with myself, tired of hurting the one’s I loved and tired of all the pain. By 1999, I was living in Florida, still using drugs. And even though I did not buy into the disease concept, it still allowed me a reason to continue using; “I have a disease”, I thought, as if to convince myself.
For six months, my father kept trying to get me to call this woman at yet another treatment center. Because even though I had given up, he hadn’t. I remember feeling totally hopeless. I didn’t want to waste anymore of the family’s money nor was I willing to set myself up again to then fail. I was on a path to total destruction and in my convoluted mind, the only hope of ceasing the pain was to go on an all-out binge.
My father continued calling; trying to get me to call this woman. I finally gave in and told him I would call the person, under one condition: that he stop calling me. He agreed. I finally called the woman and as she began to talk I thought, oh I’ve heard this so many times. But some things she said I had not heard before. That kept my interest a bit. After she finished I said, “I have only one question.”
“How many of those DAMN meetings do I have to go to”?
She said, “NONE.”
I had NEVER heard that before. That answer blew me away and before I knew it, I found myself agreeing to go and was on my way to do the Narconon Program. I haven’t been to a meeting in over 17 years. I live my life. I’m happy and most importantly, I’M SOBER.
IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET SOBER OR MAINTAIN YOUR SOBRIETY FROM A 12 – STEP PROGRAM, YOU HAVE ANOTHER OPTION. Call Narconon New Life Retreat at (877) 905-5772
Written by guest blogger Anthony Solazzo
Anthony is originally from New Jersey, but spent a large amount of time in Florida. He has worked at five Narconons throughout the US and is now employed at Narconon New Life Retreat in Louisiana conducting staff training.
Wonderful! God Bless. So Proud of you. We need a New Life Retreat in Ohio. Our city looks like The Walking Dead.
I’m recovering and do support your endeavours