Drug Addict Speaks on Addiction Recovery
After successfully completing the New Life program, Pam has joined the New Life family in order to help others. She has a compelling story and something to say to those who are still battling with addiction.
This program has absolutely saved my life. While I was here, I learned how to confront the things in my life that I was running from.
Where were you born and raised?
I was born in Clearwater, Florida. When I was just 14 months old, my parents separated and I lived with my grandmother for a while.
My mother re-married when I was 2, but my real father continued to stay in my life, even when I lived with my stepfather.
My stepfather was unstable and was diagnosed with schizophrenic. He killed our dog and when I was 13 my mother left him and we moved to Savannah.
When did you first begin abusing drugs?
Within 6 months, I was completely broke because I’d had $60,000 disappear and spent the rest on crack. I started to hate myself for losing everything that my father had worked his entire life to give me.
When I was 15 years old, I was at one of my friends and he talked me into smoking weed with him. That’s where it all started. After smoking pot for about a year, my grades slipped and I stopped caring.
My mother got married again, and I wasn’t even allowed to go to the wedding.
I was always on restriction for my grades. I started sneaking out of the house to hang out with my friends. It got to the point where I wasn’t coming home until an hour before I had to wake up for school. I got hooked on No-Doz and Simply Sleep. I would take No-Doz all day in school and when I came home, I would take a sleeping pill and sleep until my mother woke me up for dinner.
My mother put me in a “Safe-Place” shelter for 3 weeks, thinking that it would help me to straighten up. The day I got out, I snuck out of the house again and my mother sent me to my father’s.
My father was a very bad alcoholic. I lived with him for three months but I ran away when I could not take his drinking anymore. I caught a bus, went to Savannah and stayed from house to house. My mother had the police looking everywhere for me.
When I turned 17, I went back to high school and graduated in 2001 as a piano major. My father and I had made up over the years and when he died in 2005.
I was absolutely devastated and really started to go down. I inherited over $150,000. I gave half of it to the guy that was supporting my habit. I also bought him a brand new truck and put it in his name.
Within 6 months, I was completely broke because I’d had $60,000 disappear and spent the rest on crack. I started to hate myself for losing everything that my father had worked his entire life to give me.
I signed my condo over to my mother and her husband and went to living on the streets. I continued trying to bury my self-pity in crack and just did it every chance I had.
I got to a point in my addiction where I was living in a tent that I’d helped steal out of someone’s shed. The next couple years were filled with awful times – there was a lot of crack smoking, a couple of arrests, Ilving on the streets and tons of “bad luck.”
Going from disaster to disaster and through failed rehab, I finally hit rock bottom. I thought it was the end.
How did you get out of this mess?
When my mother came to pick me up, my grandfather and I had already spoken about me going to rehab. My mother had found New Life on the internet. She showed me the website, and I called my grandparents and told them that with the research my mother had done and what I could see this was the place for me.
I went through a five day binge. I was driving around Mobile, AL all the way to Gulfport, MS. I was in Gulfport for a couple days.
I was walking around a truck stop, bumming money wishing that it would just end. That’s when I went to get in my Blazer and the police pulled in.
They were there to arrest me because they thought I was prostituting. That’s when I told them that I was trying to bum money for gas to get back home to Mobile, AL and that I’d been up for 5 days smoking crack and couldn’t stop.
I asked them to take me to jail. Since I had a fugitive warrant on me, they took me in.
It took 2 weeks or more to extradite me to Savannah. When I got there, it was the day that I had to be in court.
So, I had to wait for a new court date and handled my charges. When my mother came to pick me up, my grandfather and I had already spoken about me going to rehab.
My mother had found New Life on the internet. She showed me the website, and I called my grandparents and told them that with the research my mother had done and what I could see this was the place for me.
Three weeks later, I came to the New Life Program in Georgia.
How did the New Life Program help you?
This program has absolutely saved my life. While I was here, I learned how to confront the things in my life that I was running from.
I dealt with and accepted the death of my father. I stopped punishing myself for what I’d done to my life.
This place gave me the confidence and skills that I needed in order to move forward and start my life back on the track I was on before I started abusing drugs.
What would you say to others who are battling addiction? I understand what you are going through. You don’t need to continue to feel guilty – just get some help.
I would also tell them that no matter what has happened to you, New Life is the right place for you.