Addiction is selfish.  It’s a killer.  A thief.  Liar.  Cheater.  Fake.  It’s no secret that someone suffering through addiction knows the pains they go through, the withdrawals they will feel when they are not high, the worry of when they’ll get their next hit, the anxiety of waiting for the dope-man to call and say “I’m good.”  Not to mention having to look in the mirror and face up to themselves; what they’ve done, who they’ve become, who they used to be, and where they are going.

As someone who battled addiction, I understand the toll it takes upon someone.  That life is not unlike standing back and watching myself drive a car into a concrete wall.  Very unforgiving.

However, the damage and hurt to me was only a part of the wreckage left in my wake.  For my family and friends it was another story.

Relationships, as a general idea, are based upon agreements to abide by certain behaviors and to strive for certain goals as a group, a partnership, a marriage, or even as a family.  We work towards establishing the best possible lives we can as a team and depend upon the rest of our group to do their part and to contribute.  When someone in the group doesn’t live up to those expectations trust is broken.

Of all the pain I caused my family and friends; the sleepless nights, the missing valuables, the stress, worry, and lost time, the most lasting and hardest to repair was the lost trust.  Don’t get me wrong, I deserved to be distrusted.  But looking into my twin brother’s face and knowing he wasn’t sure if he could believe the words that came out of my mouth was the biggest trial of my life.  Missing a phone call from my mother and listening to the worry in her voice mail message or hearing my sister’s shaky voice as she asked if I was better was very difficult.

It took time and hard work to gain the trust back from my family and friends.  I was more than willing to put all the effort needed into repairing the damage.  After all, trust is earned and can be given willingly when it is deserved.  I had a lot of red in my ledger and the damage I caused ran deep.

I got clean through the Narconon program.  I not only handled every aspect of my addiction but I made a career of helping others do the same.  I’m a better man than I once was and I am trusted by those who know me.  I can honestly say that at this point in my life I trust myself.  And I’m the toughest one to please.

By Derek Heiblim

Derek is certified as a Non-Violent Crisis Intervention Instructor from the Crisis Prevention Institute. Also a Counselor in Training with the Louisiana Addictive Disorders Regulatory Authority since 2013, he will become fully certified in 2016. As the Narconon Case Supervisor, Derek oversees all delivery of the Narconon program from withdrawal to the completion of the program.

2 Responses to “Unseen Consequences of Addiction”

  1. Sadie Istre says:

    Could not of said it better myself. I’m so happy for you Derek, glad your still there helping others. I can honestly say I couldn’t have got thru it with out in the class room helping everyday. Thank you for all you’ve done!! Love, Love!!

  2. Sue Magrini says:

    I have a son whom struggles with addiction it is killing him he is thin it is so sad. It hurts me so much to see him he works and supports his habit I think he comes over my heart breaks I see a man son a list soul please if you can help him His name is Dominic Magrini he is on face book I have tried to no advail thank you Sue Magrini

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